Self Definition

So my mother has been reading this blog and I recently asked her what she thought. She answered, somewhat critically, that she was hoping I would write something more from the heart. To which my wife responded that I have no heart. She was kidding. I think. Well, I thought I would try to write about something less dry than politics.

I was watching 60 minutes last week and there was a segment about the repercussions of the Madoff scandal. They interviewed an elderly man who supposedly lost his entire fortune, which was reported to be in the seven figures. Surprisingly, he didn't appear despondent. His main disappointment wasn't about the money he had lost but the money which friends and relatives had lost who invested with Madoff based on his recommendation. The impact of the potential loss of his relationships with others were more important than his own actual financial loss.

Naturally, it made me think how I would feel if I were to lose everything and then started pondering what defines a person. Or better yet how do we define ourselves. Do we define ourselves based on how others define us or how we think others are defining us. Is a person defined by his/her wealth, by the car they drive or by the house they live in. Do we define ourselves based on the clothes we wear or other external manifestations of materialism.

Or do we define ourselves based on our relationships with others. How we relate to our spouses and children. How we relate to our friends and coworkers. Some defined themselves by their relationship with god. Does one define themselves by the amount of money they have or by how good they are as a son/daughter or mother/father. I suspect that most of us get caught up in the rat race and the pursuit of more and more stuff but the truth is that like the old man it is the relationships we build that has a greater impact on us than the stuff we accumulate. And at the end of the day if we were to all lose our stuff it wouldn't matter nearly as much as losing the relationships we build with others. For some reason it is difficult to live our lives with this knowledge as we concern ourselves with accumulating more and more.

All of us are imperfect and have flaws but we should always try to find the positive attributes of those around us and acknowledge their impact on our lives. It is especially appropriate on this father's day weekend to appreciate the sacrifices our parents have made for us. This day gives us an opportunity to give gratitude to our fathers and we should all tell our fathers thank you.
So Dad thanks a lot for all you have done for me and I hope my kids appreciate what I do for them. Okay Mom?